Naruto - The Secret Agreement
by Animaid101
Summary: How come all the children of the main and supporting characters in "Naruto" have the same age in chapter 700? This funny, little dialogue-based story is a possible explanation you shouldn't take too serious. Sasunaru, Sainaru implied. BL, Yaoi, sexual themes, rated M for strong language. All the characters copyright Masashi Kishimoto, story copyright me.


_Referring to the ending of Naruto (chapter 700) a clever watcher once said: "How come all the offspring of the old team members have the same age and are in the same class? Did they have group sex alltogether?" Though it was a bit harshly formulated it is indeed odd, that's something which wouldn't happen naturally. The comment however, inspired me to a little fanfiction because it really is funny to imagine they'd had a secret agreement on this..._

Naruto, Chouji, Shikamaru, Sai and Sasuke meet on a field, nearby some trees.  
Naruto (winking towards the others): "Hey pals, tonight's the night! Time to care for the next generation, just wanted to remind you all on our agreement."  
Chouji: "Agreement?"  
Naruto: "The one we made during the war. If we'd survive, we'd make sure our kids would go to the same class and have the same fun as we had."  
Chouji: "So?"  
Naruto: "You're a bit slow, aren't you?"  
Sasuke (murmuring): "Says the right one..."  
Naruto: "They must have the same age to be in the same class. So their date of _origin_ (heavily winking) must be about the same. Now after we all are married, we can finally start the project by tonight. Let's give it our best, hahaha."  
Sasuke: "Tsk, you must be joking."  
Chouji: "D..uuuh. Karui'll kill me."  
Shikamaru: "So troublesome..."  
Sai: "Sorry, I pass. Ino's too ugly."  
Everyone staring at Sai.  
Naruto: "Why did you marry her then?"  
Sai (smiling): "It was a misunderstanding."  
Naruto: "Misunderstanding, my ass! How could that be?"  
Shikamaru (whispering to Chouji): "He mistook her for Naruto."  
Chouji (nodding): "Everyone knows but Naruto."  
Shikamaru: "Yeah, he wore his hair really long before he cut it off lawnmower-style."  
Chouji: "I wonder why he did that. Do you think Sai climbed through his window?"  
Shikamaru: "That's a thing I really don't want to know."  
Naruto (arguing with Sai): "A real Shinobi never goes back on his word!"  
Sai: "But I'm Anbu..."  
Sasuke (dryly): "It's your own fault for marrying her, wimp. Now do what you have to. Just imagine you were a real man."  
Sai: "Do it yourself, fag!"  
Naruto (sweat-dropping, trying to calm down everyone): "Hey, Sai, I think that's a bit..."  
Sasuke (indifferently): "I already have."  
Everyone (eyes dropping): "HUUHH?!"  
Naruto (pointing at Sasuke, fuming): "You're lying!"  
Sasuke: "3 times today, 2 times yesterday and 4 times at the day before. Makes a total of 9."  
Shikamaru (whispering towards Chouji): "...and that's another odd thing I never wanted to know."  
Chouji (gawking): " _That's_ why he's so slender."  
Naruto: "No way! Now I know that you're lying, no one can do that this often!"  
Sasuke: "Maybe _you_ can't, but I do."  
Naruto: "Prove it!"  
Sasuke (smirking, surveying Naruto): "Right now?"  
Sai (blocking the way between Sasuke and Naruto): "You can forget about that, fag!"  
Sasuke (glaring at Sai while tightening his pecs): "Who are you calling a fag, _fag_?"  
Sai (smiling): "Do you see anybody else here who loves guys better than girls? You even took a wife who's looking like a guy."  
Naruto: "Hey, Sakura's not..."  
Sasuke: "I'm not the one here complaining about fulfilling my connubialities."  
Sai: "Probably because she allows _you_ to play the girl."  
Sasuke (pulling his sword): "If you're having a death wish so badly, why don't you just say so? I'll gladly help you entering the after-life, _faggot-face_."  
Sai (pulling his own sword): "Bold words you still have to prove, _homo_."  
Naruto (jumping in the way): "Hey, guys, calm down again!"  
Sasuke: "Step back, Naruto, I have to teach that queer a lesson. (smiling at Naruto) Don't worry, we'll continue where we stopped in a minute."  
Sai (moving a step forward): "As if I'd let you, dick-sucker!"  
Sasuke (also moving a step forward): "You'd better suck your own dick and stop staring at Naruto's!"  
Sai (moving further on): " _You_ 're the one to tell!"  
Naruto (turning his head from one to another while they speak): "Eh? EEH?!" (covering his crotch by his hands)  
Sasuke (coming closer): "Now see what you have done."  
Sai (moving onward, finally standing totally near Naruto): "Says the real culprit."  
Chouji (whispering towards Shikamaru): "Do you think he's got it finally?"  
Shikamaru (shrugging): "Well he's a bit slow, but even _he_ should have figured it out by now."  
Naruto (now totally surrounded by Sasuke and Sai): "What's going on here, guys? Seriously, I... (turning madly) Don't touch my ass, Sai! How often do I have to tell you that you have to respect personal space? Gee, you're such a prick!"  
Shikamaru (sighing): "...on the other hand it's _Naruto_ , after all.  
Chouji: "Ah, let's go grab something to eat."  
Shikamaru: "Best idea today." Both turn and go away.  
Sai (towards Naruto, chuckling): "Sorry, I slipped."  
Sasuke (turning on the Sharingan, angrily): "Since when do Anbus slip?"  
Naruto: "Now cool it down guys! ... Uhm, do you have an other weapon under your coat, Sasuke? Something's poking my back."  
Sasuke (smirking): "Depends on what you consider a weapon, dobe!"  
Sai: "Don't worry, Naruto, I'll take care of _whatever_ 's poking you."  
Sasuke: "I'm curious to see how you'll manage that."  
Sai (smiling): "I'll simply cut it off."  
Sasuke (teeth gritting): "Not when I cut off yours first."  
Naruto: "Eh? Cut it off? _What_ do you guys want to cut off?"  
Sai and Sasuke both staring first at each other and then on Naruto and below.  
Naruto (getting pale, holding his crotch): "Nooooooo! That's not fair, you're trying to cheat!" (turns away and runs for his life.)  
Sasuke: "Naruto, wait!"  
Naruto (running): "Nobody'll cut off my best piece and hinder me to make babies with Hinata!"  
Sai (making a disappointed face): "Seems we've lost both now."  
Sasuke (sheathing his sword): "I don't know what you're talking about."  
Sai (sheathing his sword too, smiling): "Sure."  
Sasuke: "I can't stand you."  
Sai: "Same to you."  
Chouji and Shikamaru have wandered off meanwhile.  
Chouji: "What do we do about that, uh... agreement thing?"  
Shikamaru: "As I know Naruto, he'll probably run home and start making babies to catch up with Sasuke."  
Chouji (chuckling): "True."  
Shikamaru: "Sasuke has already done it and considering he has to built up his clan, he's out of this as well."  
Chouji: "Do you really think he did it 4 times with Sakura on the day before yesterday?"  
Shikamaru: "Dude, I really don't want to think about this."  
Chouji: "Sorry. So what do we do?"  
Shikamaru (sighing): "Well, I know it's a drag, but we just have to fulfill our duty, at least tonight.  
Chouji: "Ok. But what about Sai? He seemed unwilling."  
Shikamaru: "Let's just drop by at Ino's before we go to the restaurant. We tell her how fiercely he fought to protect her honor against Sasuke."  
Chouji: "But... that's not true."  
Shikamaru: "It is. In a way. He tried to prove he wasn't gay thus she wouldn't appear dumb. Anyway, if we don't get into details, it will impress her deeply, so leave it all to her. She'll be head over heels, especially when we mention he praised her looks."  
Chouji: "But... he didn't"  
Shikamaru: "In a way he did, he called her too ugly."  
Chouji: "Isn't that the opposite?"  
Shikamaru: "Depends on how you look at it. Being ugly is also a look."  
Chouji (chuckling): "You're so sly, Shika. And so mean. I really pity Sai."  
Shikamaru (shrugging): "Everything's fair in love and war. Since this is war, better he than us."  
Chouji: "True. Let's do it then!"  
Shikamaru (looking at Chouji): "You just want to hurry to get faster on something to eat."  
Chouji (grinning happily): "RIGHT."  
Shikamaru: "Ok, but think about your duty. You better don't eat too much."  
Chouji: "Aww."  
Shikamaru (shrugging): "It can't be helped."  
Chouji (pouting): "Hope this works out at least."  
Shikamaru (patting Chouji's shoulder): "Just see it as a fan service."  
Chouji: "I don't have to understand that now, do I?"  
Shikamaru: "Nope. But it will be understood later."  
Chouji: "I hope so. Cause it really is painfull."  
Shikamaru (sighing): "Not just for you, Chouji, not just for you..."


End file.
